Billy Graham's grandson Tullian Tchividjian recently resigned as senior pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian church in Florida after both he and his wife both admitted that they had committed adultery. Now, for the first time the former writer and senior pastor talks about his resignation. And his search for a job to support himself and his family.
"As you can imagine, the last few months have changed my life forever. Nothing will ever be the same. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up one morning and it will have all been a bad, bad dream. But that morning never comes," Tchividjian, who is the grandson of famous evangelist Billy Graham, shared on Facebook.
"Instead, I wake up every day and am freshly hit with the fact that this nightmare is real. My family and I are, at every imaginable level, overwhelmed. What life will look like from here on out is completely unknown to us. And that scares me. But we are alive and not without hope. We are certain that better and brighter days are ahead."
Tchividjian noted that he is spending his days looking for a new job, so that he can provide for his family, and admitted that he wants to "disappear."
"Nothing seems more appealing to me on most days than to simply vanish. But here's my struggle: I actually believe the message that I've preached with all my might (and which I need now more than ever)," he wrote.
"If I only let you see me when I'm 'good' and 'strong' and polished and 'at the top,' I undermine the very message that I claim to believe. I am tempted to hide until I am 'shiny' again," he continued.
"But if I run away because I don't want you to see me broken and weak and sad and angry and struggling with fear and guilt and shame, then I fail to practice what I preach - and one of the many things I've learned from this is that failing to practice what you preach is destructive."